Having wrapped up my five week summer vacation in Dalyan, I confess I’m already thinking ahead to next summer, and I want to do something similar. While most İzmirians “summer” in Çeşme, that is not my scene. It is basically the big city moved to the beach. While I appreciate living and working in İzmir, I prefer a slower paced way-of-life for my summer break.
I may, however, be adopting the Turkish lifestyle of summering in one place, and letting go of the international educator habit of traveling either abroad or to one’s home country during the summer months. I do still want to travel–but my interests have narrowed. COVID minimized and focused my “want to see/do” list, distilling it down to essential places that call to me. But until travel loses its tedious rules and changing restrictions, I’m keeping it simple and sticking to either my adopted home or my homeland.
I have come to recognize that Dalyan is my summer place. When people ask me “why Dalyan?” there is not a simple answer. Rather there are two strong and distinct strands that are wrapped tightly together, and this two-strand cord keeps pulling me back, again and again.
As you probably already know, I discovered Dalyan last summer with my friend and colleague, Ginger. We arrived on August 1st of 2020–only six months into life with COVID. Ironically I had first heard about Dalyan from Mustafa, the Turkish man I had dated for four months at the end of 2019. He had traveled there and shared pictures of the river, the harbor, the boats, and of Iztuzu beach. I knew I needed to see that beautiful place. With COVID limiting our travel options, Ginger and I made a summer travel plan that included one full week to discover Dalyan.
I felt a sense of home the moment we arrived to our airBnB located riverside and on the north end of the village. The natural landscape enveloped me and I was transfixed by the intersection of mountain, lake, river, and sea. Not many places can so magically weave together that kind of natural diversity. To top things off there is the unique “boat culture,” and of course there are the Lycian tombs and the ancient city of Kaunos also in the area. My two favorite themes–nature and history–coexisting together. And to top all of that off, there is the wonderful village of Dalyan sprinkled with assorted boutiques, bars, restaurants, and shops. In the harbor there is a little stone mosque. Iztuzu beach, located on the Mediterranean Sea, is protected and therefore undeveloped. Just one more reason to love Dalyan–five kilometers of sand to walk, and limitless sea and sun to enjoy from April to November.
Last summer, on our second day in Dalyan, we booked a moonlight cruise for the following night. The man selling us our tickets that night was “Tony.” He flirted with me–which was strange since we were all wearing masks. I didn’t put too much thought into it at the time–those working in tourism have affable and often flirtatious personalities after all. Ginger and I proceeded to have an AMAZING boat trip on the evening and night of August 3. We watched a full moon–blood red–rise over the lake and had front row seats and what felt like a private screening with only one other boat on the lake. That night makes my Top Ten of Best Moments Ever!
Around midnight we docked back in the harbor beside Tony’s boat, the Black Pearl. Before we had the chance to collect our bags, he reached over the side of his boat and pulled them onto the Black Pearl, and told us to come on over for a drink. Ginger and I looked at one another, shrugged “why not!,” and climbed aboard. The rest of the week became a “summer fling” of fun–sea, sun, boat trips, great food, and so many wonderful memories made with my friend, AND with this unexpected and carefree man’s arrival into my orbit.
Here we are, over a year later, and I’m still in relationship with him. Tony is his moniker for the Brits and other foreign customers that frequent Dalyan. I have always called him by his given name. Our fling turned into a thing, a surprising thing. I’ve visited him in his world and he’s visited me in mine. We traveled for a weekend in January to Osmaniye to visit some of his family. To be honest, I thought this summer might bring our relationship to a close–that perhaps we’d have run our course together. But, no.
Instead we had a wonderful five weeks together. He played captain, chef, and host to all of my visiting friends and family. We got to know one another better, and settled into a routine of starting and ending our days together. It was organic and natural, and oh so easy. Perhaps it’s him, perhaps it’s me–or maybe it’s just about two people the same age and in a similar stage of life–wanting nothing more than to enjoy time well spent together without the pressure of what we may or may not become. We are….in the here and now….and that is enough.
I share all of that to express that I don’t know Dalyan without him. There is Dalyan, the place–which I do love–but there is also this wonderful and enigmatic man that is a personification of all that I love about the place–wild, free, natural. I have grown to love him too. We continue to spend time together when we can and stay in touch thanks to modern technology. I have learned to not focus on the future. What will become, or what will not. But instead I choose to love the time I share with him. As a woman that seeks personal growth, in this relationship I endeavor to be a person that loves without attachment. He has been a delightful presence in my life and I am grateful for all the gifts he has offered–comfort, affection, companionship, and so very much fun!!
In the back of my mind there are questions that tickle my consciousness–would I love Dalyan without him? Would I love him if he wasn’t a man from Dalyan?
In the end, I will maybe never know. They both entered my life in the same time and are forever tied together–at least for as long as I continue to visit Dalyan, and for as long as he and I continue in relationship. 2021 is my year of FUN–and he has been a huge part of living it out–and much of it having happened in Dalyan. I guess you could say we are a threesome of a different sort!
I’ll close with this final picture of me with my four visiting Americans–including my sister Fawn (far right)–and our Captain–sitting in the middle of the beauty of Dalyan–river, reeds, mountains, tombs, and a gorgeous sunset to accompany our last evening all together. Cheers, Friends!
