The Purpose of a Life

In the grand scheme of things a human life is little more than a blip on the timeline. My 80 years or so on the planet will be nothing. I know for some people the impacts of COVID-19 have been minimal. That is not the case for me. As an international educator COVID-19 not only impacted how we do our job, but it impacts our way of life. Most people become international educators not just to expand their professional experience, but to increase their ability to travel the world–not just in the country where they work, but to others all over the globe. I’m fairly new to the circuit–this being the end of my fifth year. And I would argue that my three years in Mongolia were not traditionally spent as those of an international educator. I was there for my husband and stepson at the time, and not so much to globe trot. My colleagues and I find ourselves wrapping up the school year and embarking on a summer that will not be filled with galavanting to new places or visiting friends or family either in our home countries, or abroad. Many will take advantage of the opportunity to explore Turkey by way of a car. 

During these days of COVID-19 there has been more than a little time to reflect on what matters in this lifetime, and what one wishes to look back upon. In recent years my older sister has become a best friend and we communicate on a daily basis. While I still journal by way of pen and paper, I would also say I’ve come to do what I will call “audio journaling” with her, as well as with some friends. There is something productive in expelling our thoughts–either by hand and pen, or verbally. In putting the words into some form outside our heads, something more happens. With my sister we have the opportunity to spitball ideas, to brainstorm, to question and challenge the other’s thinking and to get to the heart of a matter. To know one another on a deeper level, and by learning about the other we end up knowing ourselves better as well.

There have been two results from these conversations in recent weeks that has provided clarity about how I want to live this life, AND why I live it the way I do. I will endeavor to share with you my findings here. Perhaps it will allow you to think about your life, how you live it, and what you are out to do in this precious gift of a lifetime.

My sister asked, what are those things that you are passionate about–meaning no matter where I am in the world or what my job is, what are the things I do with my free time. This conversation came out of how we have spent these months at home. She had opportunity to spend time doing things she is passionate about. I found that COVID-19, and all the uncertainty it brought up, got in the way of my ability to focus. While she was able to harness the time, I was not. So the question again is–what am I passionate about doing in this life?

I have learned that my work–being a librarian and teaching students and faculty how to do effective research–is a passion of mine. While I did keep busy and contributed in all the ways I thought I could, the distance learning format was not the same as being in the classroom or the library with my patrons. I was appreciative of the teachers that reached out to me and had me “guest teach” in their Zoom rooms. To see student faces and hear their questions about works cited and databases did give me satisfaction. My work is something I am passionate about and it does give me many rewards. It is one purpose of my life.

The next most important thing in my life would be my friendships. Being a good friend to those in my orbits is something I enjoy doing, and spend a lot of time investing in. I do not spend time on shallow or negative/angry people. I seek out those whom are open, deep, and interested in being the best person they can be. I am a work-in-progress, as I believe we all are. I want people in my life that are constantly looking at themselves, working to grow and discover and learn more about who they are, and about the greater world around us.

When I gather with these friends our conversations are endless. I leave our time together with much to think about and that is a most worthy result. I spend quite a bit of my time in life communicating with friends, in person and remotely. I’ve maintained friendships from all stages of my life–elementary school, middle and high school, college, military days, and friends from every place I’ve lived in the world. What a gift it is to message with my friend in Shanghai on WeChat, to video chat with my Mongolian girlfriend living in Sydney, to iMessage with a high school girlfriend living a few miles from where we went to school, and to share WhatsApp updates with a girlfriend in Canada. I may not see these people in person often, but we always pick up right where we left off. We talk about family struggles, work successes, new friends made, and dreams for the future. 

It feeds my soul and heart to share my life with all these people and to have them share theirs with me. It’s enlightening to hear opinions and beliefs from around the globe about any and all events happening at any given moment. And this year has certainly not been short on talking points. I love being a good friend and I love how my friends color and support my life. Friends are the family we choose and I’m so proud of my sea of friends and am grateful for them each and every day. (As you may recall I wrote last year about how my friends are my home in this world.)

Finally, I am passionate about reading and about writing. I do these things for my own self love and joy. Someday it would be nice to be published in book format. But I have always been a writer, it’s part of who I am. Escaping into a good story or learning about history or the world though the written word is also enjoyable. Both of these hobbies ebb and flow for me. I have reading or writing floods as well as droughts. I go with the flow and follow my mood and energy. 

The other topic my sister and I have discussed in this time of COVID is about our “end goal” for this life. Well actually how we, unlike many we know, do not have an end goal. I am making up this life as I go. I did not decide or choose for myself some predetermined path. I don’t need a house at the end of my life. I did not choose to have children of my own. I’ve had three husbands and no longer see that as a need or wish for my life. That rote script that is taught to us somewhere along the path in life, the whole get-married, buy-a-house, have-kids-and-a-dog, climb-the-career-ladder, buy-a-bigger-house, nicer-car, yada yada, on and on. I said goodbye to that script a few years ago and do not plan to greet it again.

So what am I up to in this life? I certainly enjoy and feed on having meaningful work and thankfully have been able to find that for 15 consecutive years. I know I could take my librarianship and teaching anywhere in the world and find something of value to do whether that be working in a school, at a public library, or in a university. I love what I do and have confidence I can find a way or avenue to do it. But, what else???

As we sent WhatsApp messages back and forth about what we wished to have or do or be in this life, my sister commented that she always saw me as a person who simply “followed her bliss”–whatever that may have been at the time. The picture above is from a page in Joseph Campbell’s book The Hero’s Journey which my sister had been reading from at the time of our chats. I love what Campbell says–both that “Life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived,” and “…follow the path that is not a path.”

Upon reflection I can say that is true for me and my life. I have pursued degrees (English and Library Science) when the motivation and desire hit. I finished my undergrad 10 years after graduating high school, and across three universities–so it was a meandering path to accomplish the task. But I did get there. I then got my teaching license which was another two year program. And the Masters in Library Science was a speedy attack–I finished it in a year and a half. 

I have also, as most of you know, pursued Love wherever it has taken me. And I think I would say that Love is the greatest of “drivers” or motivators for me in this life. Love of my friends, love of my family, and yes, romantic love. I suppose some may call me impulsive or flighty. I am not sure–you will have to tell me how you have viewed my choices in life. I have only my own assessment and opinion. 

Looking back on my life, I think I have my mother to thank (blame?) for my flitting about this world. The summer before my sophomore year of high school she moved us from Michigan to Pennsylvania. I loved discovering a new place and making a host of new friends. And because that move was a “success” for me, I have never hesitated to move.

My next big move was from PA to Idaho and with my mother’s grand advice–“Imagine what is the worst that can happen and if you can live with that, then you should go for it!”–I learned to go for it. Again and again. I moved to Idaho in 1995 to pursue my own independent life. I moved to Colorado in 1999 to pursue Love. Then I moved to Mongolia in 2015 for that next great Love story and adventure. That was my first experience of living abroad in another culture and country. I moved to Turkey in 2018 for a new job and the next adventure. I think I can say it was a move in pursuit of self love as I healed from my last quit marriage, and for growth in self knowledge. Turkey has been so very good to me–a paradise and safe landing after all that preceded it.

I do not know what will come my way next. I have renewed my contract to stay on (at least) another year in Turkey and at ACI. World travel is currently limited by COVID-19, but when that threat lessens and travel resumes, albeit it adapted for the new normal, I will get out and see a place or two–returning to Sarajevo, I hope, as well as making it to Prague. I will meet the new arriving teachers in a couple of months and begin developing new friendships, perhaps, while deepening those I already have. I will travel home today to the U.S. to get my drivers license transferred to Virginia and to be registered in time to vote in the upcoming election. It is not an ideal time to travel–but this is an essential travel situation. 

I will visit family as well as old friends from my high school and college days. I will make the most of the time I have–holding onto each NOW moment the best I can–before returning to Turkey to prepare for my 16th year in education. And along this winding road, who knows what opportunities or whom I may meet or encounter that could cause my life path to change course. As my history shows, I’m open to any number of things–because I do not have a target or end game. As Rameses B says in his song “The Meaning of Life” (video below), “The journey itself is the point; The playing itself is the point.”

And I could not agree more!

I hope this post finds you and your loved ones healthy and safe. If you have time and feel so inclined, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my post, OR to hear about your “end game” or wishes for this life. Until then I will leave you with a toast and a sunset from my beautiful city of Izmir.