What Home is to Me

Pop culture provides plenty of sayings or quips about the meaning of “home.” From “there’s no place like home,” to “you can’t go home again,” and “home is where the heart is.” The first one I know comes from “The Wizard of Oz,” the others I am not sure and I will not spend the time now to research. In the end I think we each have our own interpretation and feelings about what is, or is not “home,” and about whether a place or time or person feels like home.

I traveled home this past summer to Colorado–the place where I have lived for the longest duration of my life. Of my 45 years, I lived for 16 of them in Colorado Springs, from 1999 until 2015. And for most of those I was the owner of a house, an actual domicile or home. I drove by and it looked much the same as it did when we sold it in the fall of 2014. Minus the improved success the current owner has had with growing flowers and plants in the front yard! I never had much of a green thumb.

I spent three and a half weeks in Colorado reconnecting with old friends and colleagues, as well as spending time with family that flew or drove in to visit.

You see, there is not a singular “home” for the members of my nuclear family. Each of my parents (divorced since the 1980s) and siblings (four of us in total) lives in a different state, or, as in my and my brother’s case, a different country. We are scattered to the wind across this vast planet. When traveling to visit family we have to make choices about whom to visit on any given trip. The only time we gather ALL TOGETHER is once every five years for Christmas. That will happen again in 2021.

This year I’ve had a bumper crop year of seeing family!

When I traveled to Abu Dhabi in January I was able to see my brother, SIL, niece, and nephew, as well as my father and his wife. With this visit to Colorado I spent time with my mother, older sister, and another niece. Additionally, my brother, SIL, niece and nephew (the ones living in the UAE) have also made their way to Turkey to visit me in my new home. 

Returning to Colorado after an absence of four years, I wondered what I would discover. Would old friends and colleagues feel as they did before? Would we be able to pick up where we left off? Would the mountains of Colorado still move me? Would I be nostalgic for the rocky landscape and dry summer heat? When I left Colorado in the summer of 2015 I did not know if I would ever return. 

What did I find?

Pikes Peak is yet a wonder to behold, standing silent and stoic guard over the Springs. It had been a rainy spring and summer making the city a green wonderland. The weather was cooler than normal, though still in the 80s most days. I did appreciate the dry heat, but I also missed the smell of the sea. Most places looked the same and I was able to remember my way around town easily. 

The greatest gift of this lengthy visit was discovering just HOW MANY good friends I have in that community. While Colorado is no longer my home, visiting all my friends and former colleagues DID, very much, feel like home. It was a proper homecoming in the truest sense of the word.

With each and every one of these beautiful people we jumped in deep, talking about all that has transpired in the time of my absence. I answered questions about what happened with Zorig, was I still in touch with Enji, how was the new job, what is it like to live in Turkey. I learned about their illnesses and struggles, about the growth and progress of their children, about how things are in my previous schools. We talked about accomplishments and successes, about future plans and dreams. 

We ate great food, drank good wine, and talked for hours and hours and hours. I thought I would tire of telling my “story,” often repeating myself with each individual. And while that happened to some extent, it was NOT tiresome. Each individual was curious about different–whether slight or great–aspects of my life abroad. I loved each and every moment–having the time to truly reconnect with people that have made a difference in my life, who saw me through so many things in life. Marriage. Divorce. Job changes. Moves. All the aspects of a life lived large. 

I discovered that a rich community of friends–no matter where I am in the world–THEY are the ones that make me feel at home. To have people with whom I can be fully and completely myself, to share the dark and the light, the ups and downs, all the big things, and the small things–these are the joys in life. Connection. And community.

My life has been graced with people from all walks of life. I value them. I invest in making time to stay in contact. I miss them and I love them. Each and every one. I do all I can to ENJOY the moments, the NOW, when we spend time together. And hold them in my heart and memories while we are apart…..all the while looking forward to our next meeting.

Yes, Good friends are my home. Thank you for journeying with me along this crazy and unpredictable path–life as we each know and experience it. I adore each of you. Thanks for making such great memories with me. Hugs to each of you. 

So now it’s your turn to weigh in. What is home to/for you?

P.S. Forgive me if you were missed in the collages….I had TOO many pictures to sort through and I MAY have missed someone. It was NOT intentional! You know I love you!