A Love Affair Continues

My mother took me to get my first tattoo for my 17th birthday. The following summer I got my second tattoo after graduating from Army Basic Training. Many, many years passed before I got another. In the past year I’ve gotten three and I progressively get bolder with size and placement. People seem to be surprised by the size of my newest ink, and they are curious to know why it is what it is. I will endeavor to shed some light on that here. But I have to say that I am equally curious to know why people choose what they do. I mean, why a skull and crossbones? A woman in the airport had a Halloween witch-on-a-broom on her bicep. Why would one get that? And the large tribal bands around the leg or arm, what’s that about? Does it have meaning for its owner? Or is it simply an aesthetic appreciation for design and symmetry? Yes, I am fascinated to learn why people get the ink they get.

I like to think that each of my tattoos has meaning and value. However, to be honest I don’t much care for my first two tattoos anymore. My first one is on a shoulder blade. This means I can’t see it without a mirror. What a silly place to get a tattoo!  But in the early 90s tattoos weren’t yet seen everywhere and I wanted it to be conservative. And so it was/is. My second tattoo had a lot of meaning at the time. I was obsessed with wolves. I collected “wolf stuff” and yet carry around with me some of that remaining collection. *Note: I no longer collect wolves.

While I still appreciate wolves, I have outgrown the meaning of that tattoo. The wolf and the celebration of graduating from Basic Training. I’ve been out of the military since 2003. That’s a lifetime ago. I am now working with an artist to create a cover-up of that tattoo, to literally morph it into something new. Something that represents me in this present life and time. I hope to begin that work this fall but it depends on weekends off and the availability of the artist. Stay tuned to hear more about that after it happens.

Today I want to attempt to share WHY I got the word “SARAJEVO” tattooed onto my left under forearm. Many of you may have read my post from last fall titled, For the Love of Sarajevo. I traveled to Sarajevo last August as well, though just for 5 days/4 nights. I doubled the time for this most recent visit because I attended the 25th Sarajevo Film Festival, arriving the day before it started and leaving the day after it ended. It was an AMAZING 10 days and one of the best times of my life.

As mentioned in that previous post, I first visited Sarajevo in October of 1998. I was a photojournalist for the U.S. Army and my job was to take pictures of and write stories about U.S. soldiers deployed for the mission. I was to capture what we did for an internal audience. I visited various locations around Sarajevo–Butmir, Dobrinja, Ilidza, and Old Town to name a few. While walking the streets of Dobrinja–a suburb located near the Sarajevo Airport and at the time ringed by fields filled with landmines–I discovered the picture that you see Above, Right. I was not able to enter the apartment building as it had not been cleared of land mines. But with the zoom on my camera I was able to see this image, drawn or sketched onto the back wall of the apartment. It is an image of a human being, emaciated, and bent over at the waist. This is the image that has haunted me all these years. I was 24 years old then and the image had a profound impact. It set it hooks in me. Who drew this image? How old were they? What did it mean to him or her? Was it simply an activity to keep their mind and body active during the long cold days of the siege? Was it the image of a loved one who had passed? Or a self portrait?

I will never know the answer to any of these questions. Maybe because of that, my fascination with Sarajevo goes on and on. Sarajevo is not a large city. Its current population sits at around 300,000. That’s a fraction of Izmir with 4.3M inhabitants. Sarajevo is surrounded by beautiful mountains–covered in vegetation in summer as in the featured image on this post. I hope to someday see her under a blanket of snow.

When I am in Sarajevo I experience a swirl of thoughts and emotions. I am perplexed and fascinated. I am nostalgic as well as frustrated and angry. I feel excitement to be back in a familiar place. I am overwhelmed by all the places I still want to visit and spend time with. I am fascinated by its history and captivated by the winding cobblestone paths of its Old Town. I love hearing the sound of church bells ringing at the same time as I hear multiple calls to prayer. I love the cool nights of summer. I love that the people of Sarajevo persevere, that the city is resilient and rebuilding. I will never understand the reasons why the siege happened. I’ll never understand how humans can be so cruel and inhumane. But I do understand that hope and love prevail. And I love Sarajevo–for all of its history and beauty and complexity and resilience.

I knew I wanted my souvenir for this trip to Sarajevo to be a tattoo. I researched and found the best and most highly reviewed tattoo studio in the city, Mustre i Sare. The name roughly translates as “Patterns and Scribbles.” I contacted them via Facebook and then moved to email. I wanted an artist to capture my love of the city and to include some of its iconic structures. I sent some pictures and images and wrote a LONG detailed explanation of what I was looking for.

Thankfully an artist named Himzo created this one-of-kind image. The image is anchored on the word “Sarajevo” in graffiti style letters with a heart as the “o.” I got that idea from the feature image from last year’s post about my trip to Sarajevo. Above it are, from left to right: the Hum Tower, the Sebilj, Goat Bridge, and the Unity or UNIS towers.

The Hum Tower is a broadcasting tower on the hill with a funky shape and form; the Sebilj is a central gathering place in Old Town, it offers a water fountain and is always surrounded by pigeons. The Goat Bridge is a short walk east of the city and is a bridge built by the Ottomans in the 16th century. The UNIS towers are in the city center, near the Parliament building and Hotel Holiday (formerly the Holiday Inn), and while they were severely damaged in the Bosnian War, they represent resilience and are fully functioning business buildings today.

Additionally captured in this tattoo is a traditional Bosnian carpet design at the bottom. And the “dots” can be interpreted in a variety of ways. If/when we meet in person I am willing to share what they mean to me. More than just graffiti, that’s for sure.

I spent three hours in the chair to get this tattoo. I love it and think of Sarajevo fondly each time it catches my eye. I had a blast attending the Sarajevo Film Festival (perhaps another post in the future about the event) and am already thinking of making it a periodic, if not annual, event. While I may never be able to fully articulate why she means so much to me, one thing is certain–I love spending time in Sarajevo.

Perhaps Award-Winning Director Pawel Pawlikowski said it best when he accepted his Honorary Heart of Sarajevo award at the festival on Friday, August 16th. I was in the National Theater when he accepted the award and can say that I got goosebumps as he spoke about the heart of Sarajevo. To my recollection he said that Sarajevo did not have a simple heart; that her heart was complicated and full of contradictions.  I searched to find a transcript of his entire speech, but all I found was this quote and I think it came towards the end of his speech, “Sarajevo carries a bold and powerful heart full of difficulties.”

I know I will return again and again to this special city in the heart of the Balkans. I hope some of what I’ve written has made sense. In the end we each live with our own tattoos and they are there to bring us joy and delight. This one does that for me.

And so my love affair with Sarajevo goes on and on…..

Thanks for traveling with me, Friends.